Total Drama Romance Island
by FrankieQuinn13
Summary: Total Drama Romance Island! This season our contestants are brought back and a panel of "experts" examine their profiles to set them up with their perfect match. All crack parings Sierra/Duncan, Geoff/Leshawna, Noah/Courtney and many more


**A/N: sup guys**

**So this is my first Total Drama fic. **

**All crack pairings by the way. I wanted to do something strange so that's what this is all about. I only used the cast going from Total drama Island to Total Drama World tour, cause I didn't want to use the new ones. Although Duncan and Sugar would be kinda interesting wouldn't it?**

**Enough of that on with the show**

**Apologies spelling, grammar and OOCness**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Total Drama universe or any of it's characters**

"Wow, Harold. I don't know what to say." Gwen said as she stared down at the blue and red spiked collars in her hands, while the nerd next to her leaned forward a bit so he could point out the small silver switch on the outside of the collars near the clasps.

"They're temperature collars, I ordered them from Pet Patrick's pet shop back home." Harold explained as he edged a little closer to Gwen. "I was doing some research on Iguana's and I found out that the species you have need a constant source of heat to keep them healthy and I figured you probably have to keep the heat lamp in their cage on all the time. But with these, you could take them with you anywhere without worrying about them getting too cold."

Gwen turned the little silver tags around reading the names Angus and Vampyra on one side while the other sides read, "Property of lady Gwen, the dark princess of my heart."

The goth girl gave a soft smile as she looked up at Harold who was staring at her with anticipation. "Harold, this is so sweet. You really didn't have to."

"Of course I did," Harold started with a proud smile and a dark blush on his face, "Anything for my lady."

Gwen smiled and dropped the collars into her lap to reach out and wrap the ginger in a hug before pressing a kiss on his cheek, "Thanks Harold, I can't wait to see how they look on Angus and Vampyra."

Gwen pulled back to reveal Harold's face in a deeper shade of red than before, the nerd gingerly touched the black mark of lipstick on his cheek while Gwen went back to staring at the collars in her hand.

Duncan rolled his eyes and looked away to stare at the bowl of mystery chilli in front of him.

The mystery being which parts of the spicy dish came from an actual store and which parts came from the mould on the roof and the mousetraps Chef had set up all over the kitchen.

"I can't believe Chef crashed our party!" Geoff groaned on the other side of the table, letting his head fall onto the wooden top with a thud, "I mean, last night was so awesome we had to have a repeat but no! Chef had to show up today and 'release the hounds'."

"It could have been worse, you know." Courtney said from the table just behind them next to Noah, the CIT had her head on the shorter teens shoulder as they both read from the same book. "He could have released the man eating crocodiles. Besides were not allowed to have any party's without Chris' authorisation, it's in our contracts."

"Turn the page?" Noah asked, glanced down at Courtney.

"Wait," the girl quickly let her eyes run across the last three lines before giving a nod, "O.K now."

"Well he could have at least let us keep the food DJ made," Geoff whined with a mournful pout, "The pizza, the sandwiches...the brownies! All that gooey chocolatey goodness. Gone!"

"Don't worry sugar baby, I got you covered." Leshawna said as she slid into the seat next to Geoff and dropped a foil covered square in front of him. The blonde looked up at her for a moment before grabbing the silver package and tearing it open. Geoff beamed when he looked inside.

"Triple chocolate chip brownies?! How'd you get these?"

Leshawna picked Geoff's cowboy hat off his head and dropped it on her own with a smile, "They don't call me Ledodger for nothing. Those dover mans didn't stand a chance."

"Babe, what would I do without you?" Geoff grinned before pressing a kiss against the girl's lips and immediately started tucking in.

Duncan rolled his eyes and started poking his chilli with a spoon.

Traitors, every single one of them.

How could they have forgotten so quickly, they weren't supposed to give in.

They were supposed to be in the middle of a strike. Chris and his producers were going too far this time.

Total Drama Romance Island.

This season, the contestants were paired up instead of being sorted into teams. All the couples competed in challenges for rewards and elimination had two contestants sent home for every second episode, then of course there was the grand prize of two million dollars.

Not too bad right?

No, not bad at all. See the problem was how the couples were chosen. Apparently the producers had a team of experts brought in to review their profile's and paired them up with the person they were the most compatible with.

Something they were all convinced was a complete lie, I mean really.

Izzy and Justin?

Beth and Alejandro?

Heather and Owen?!

How is Heather compatible with Owen? That's like trying to mate a rattle snake with a bear. Either way you slice it, someone is going to get killed.

Needles to say none of the contestants were pleased, but since their contracts said that they have to stay and compete until they were eliminated there wasn't more they could do than just play the game and resist getting all coupley like the producers thought they would.

But after the first four challenges were completed and the first kiss was given, it seemed like everyone had either given in or were well on their way to giving in.

"Did you know that green iguanas have a white photosensory organ on the top of their heads called the parietal eye. Also called third eye, pineal eye or pineal gland, in contrast to most other lizards which have lost this primitive feature?"

Gwen's head gave a slight tilt, "What does that mean?"

"It means, that unlike normal lizards, green iguanas can sense images and objects directly in front of them. So in a way they can see in front of themselves instead of just being able to see things at their sides." Harold explained and Gwen couldn't help but lean forward as she smiled.

"I really can't get over how smart you are."

The nerd smiled back as a brand new blush spread over his face and Duncan made a gag noise in the back of his throat making Harold glare at him while Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Don't mind him, he's just being a pain cause Sierra's been busy all day."

Sierra. She was selected to be his partner for the competition, something that had not gone down well with the super fan on the first day of the competition since she was hoping to get paired up with Cody.

It took almost four days for Sierra to finally come around and even then she'd still follow Cody and Lindsay around like a lost puppy until Duncan finally managed to get her to cooperate with the incentive of making Cody jealous by spending time with him.

Duncan figured that her super obsession with Cody could motivate Sierra into helping him win the million and it worked well enough the first few weeks, but then Sierra's crush shifted from Cody to Duncan and the juvenile delinquent found himself with the clingiest fake girlfriend he's ever had in his entire life.

The emphasis here is placed on the word, fake.

They weren't actually together, they were just playing the game. So what if the little psycho was kinda cute when she whenever she started screeching when they had a new challenge. Who cares if Duncan hates it when she starts fangirling over Cody? It's not like he actually likes Sierra, they're just pretending.

Not that Sierra knew that they were just pretending, or any one else for that matter.

"Shut up." Duncan growled as he glared at Gwen while the girl just smirked in return.

"What's with you?" Noah asked as he glanced over his shoulder at Duncan when Courtney tapped his arm so he could turn the page. "Shouldn't you be happy that Sierra and all her stalker crazy isn't all over you for once?"

"I am happy."

"You don't look too happy to me bro." Geoff said as he slung his arm around Leshawna's neck while big girl titled the side of Geoff's hat up a bit so she could glance around the table. "Where is home girl anyway? I haven't seen her since last night's elimination ceremony."

"Bridgette and Tyler went abseiling this morning so Sierra tagged along to take pictures for her blog." Gwen said with a smug smile before finishing with the best Sierra impression she could muster, "So now _Dunky's_ all grouchy cause _Rara_'s not here to keep him company."

"She is not my girlfriend!" Duncan growled before shoving a spoon full of mystery chilli into his mouth, only to spit it back out and grab the nearest glass of water and gulped it down. The delinquent took a few heavy breaths before looking up to see the others sniggering at him. "I'm just pretending so we can win the million."

"Were you pretending when you snuck into the girl's cabins last week in the middle of the night just so you could introduce Sierra to Scruffy junior?" Beth suddenly said from her spot beside Alejandro on the other side of the table and the others snickered when the spaniard spoke, "On the contrary mi cielo, I think pretending was the time that Duncan snuck into Chris' private cabin to steal ice cream for Sierra on her birthday."

"No, c'mon guys." Gwen started as she twirled one of the collars on her finger and gave Duncan a wicked grin, "Pretending was Duncan putting Cody in the infirmary after he made Sierra cry."

The entire table burst out laughing and Duncan's hand clenched around the spoon in his hand, "We aren't dating O.K! We're just playing the game, like you guys were supposed to be doing till you turned on us you traitors."

Gwen almost beamed, "Did he just say _we_?"

Leshawna gave a wide grin, "Yes he did, a whole lotta _we's_ and an _us_."

Duncan paused to look around the table of smiling faces before he snapped, "What?!"

"You're doing couple speak," Courtney pipped up with a roll of her eyes and Noah finished, "To put it in idiot terms, it means you like her, meat head."

Duncan shot up from his seat, "I'll give you meat head, you little-"

Courtney shot up as well and gave Duncan a hell damning glare, "Finish that sentence and I'll rip off every single one of your piercings and use them to pierce your eyelids. Meat head."

Duncan held Courtney's glare for a moment longer before sinking back into his seat with an annoyed growl, "Be grateful you have miss CI-psychotic here to protect you or else you'd be joining Cody in the infirmary, shrimp."

Noah barely even blinked an eye, "It's a good thing I have her then, huh?"

Duncan just growled in response while Courtney gave a triumphant smirk as she went back to sit next to Noah.

"If you like her so much then why didn't you just go with them in the first place?" Leshawna asked with a tilt of her head as she stole a brownie, making Geoff let out a small whine and pout while she just grinned in return.

"I don't like her." Duncan growled out while Beth sat up a bit to lean over the table.

"You know Duncan, if you hurry, you might catch up to them."

"I don't like her."

They didn't listen.

"I'm sure Sierra wouldn't mind if you showed up to surprise her, you should go look for her." Owen said as he sat down with his second helping of mystery chilli only for his tray to be snatched up by a glaring Heather.

"Carbs, fats, sodium and hundreds of preservatives. We already agreed that you're going on a diet!" Heather tossed the tray aside before setting a piece of celery down in front of Owen. The larger teen groaned in frustration while Heather turned her glare back on Duncan, "And you, everyone knows Sierra is Chris' favourite. If she's going to be useful to me she needs to get some sleep, so stop sneaking into the girl's cabins!"

Duncan stuttered and gawked at Heather while the mean girl just kept talking as she leaned against Owen's back. "Last night was the last straw, scar face."

The entire table filled with giggles and snickers while Duncan just paused to stare at Heather in confusion. "Last night?"

"Yes last night, you kept tripping over things. Totally woke me in the middle of my beauty sleep."

Duncan's lips twisted in confusion and his eyebrows furrowed in thought when, "That wasn't Duncan. That was Cody."

"What?" Duncan turned to Beth who sat grinning with Alejandro looking particularly suspicious.

"Yeah, Cody came in at around midnight, I heard the whole thing. He wanted to say sorry for making her cry during last weeks challenge."

"What an honourable thing to do corazon, Sierra must have been very pleased." The spaniard said seeming to pick up a conversation of their own.

"Oh she was pleased alright, especially after Cody kissed her."

"He did what?!" Duncan glared and Alejandro gave him that innocent smile.

"I believe Beth said that he kissed her."

Duncan's hand clenched around the glass in his hand and his eyes narrowed into a deadly glare, completely oblivious to the smiles that were slowly spreading across the table.

"Yeah, Cody even said that he'd meet her on the dock so they could walk to dinner together so he can make up for what he did." Beth explained with ernest while Alejandro leaned forward seemingly fascinated.

"Really? Isn't that thoughtful."

Duncan couldn't help but growl as his jaw clenched along with his fist, making the glass under the pressure crack lightly.

"Sure is." Beth pushed the frame of her glasses back up the bridge of her nose before looking around Alejandro to blink and stare at Duncan in confusion. "Hey Duncan, what's wrong? You seem kinda tense."

Duncan's eyes snapped up at the girl only for Gwen to answer for him.

"Oh he's fine, I mean, it's not like he cares who Sierra makes out with."

"I don't care." The delinquent ground out and Gwen gave an understanding nod when her eyes snapped up to the entrance.

"Hey look they're back." All eyes turned on the cafeteria doors just as Tyler and Bridgette walked in. Tyler carried the surfer girl on his back while she had two pairs of climbing gear slung over her shoulders. But what really caught everyone's attention was the pair that walked in next.

Sierra came walking into the room with a bright smile on her face, a camera in her hands and a Cody by her side.

Duncan growled.

"It looks like they made up." Beth cooed and Duncan felt his left eye twitch while the glass in his hand cracked a little more.

Sierra laughed at something Cody said, when Harold spoke with a slight tilt of his head. "You know, those two would be good together. I mean, Cody doesn't have as much luck with the ladies as I do. He needs someone who can give him all the attention he wants."

"And some he doesn't want." Noah mumbled out and Courtney giggled while Duncan just glared.

"Yeah, you know what Haroldie. Maybe we can get Chris to switch them so Cody and Sierra can be in the same team." Gwen suggested with a grin and the other all gave noises of agreement. "I mean, it's not like you're actually together right? And I'm sure Sierra would love to be paired up with Cody. So you don't mind, right Duncan?"

"No I don-" Duncan was cut off when Beth suddenly squealed.

"Aww he's hugging her!"

That did it.

Not that Duncan likes her or anything stupid like that, they're just playing the game. And part of playing the game is making sure the producers think they're an actual thing. So Duncan is completely justified in what he's about to do next.

"Duncan?" Cody stared in confusion.

"Dunky!" Sierra squealed in delight when she saw the juvenile delinquent headed straight towards them and the super fan jumped up to wrap her arms around his neck and Duncan tried oh so very hard to force back the blush spreading fast over his face. "I got so many pictures for my blog! The Bryler fans are going to freak when they see-"

"Just hold on one second." Duncan said as he pulled Sierra's arms off his neck and took one of her hands in his own before pulling his fist back and knocking the shorter teen out cold.

"Cody?!" Sierra screeched while Duncan just tugged on her arm and pulled her out of the cafeteria, bumping into Lindsay just as the blonde stepped inside.

"Ow!" Lindsay moaned as she rubbed her arm and Courtney looked back at Beth.

"Did Cody really kiss Sierra?"

Beth looked away as she spoke, "No... But he did come by last night to apologise he just didn't come into the room. The noises Heather heard were me sneaking back into the cabin."

"Sneaky." Leshawna smirked and Gwen gave her an appreciative smile as she spoke, "Have you always been secretly evil or is Alejandro starting to rub off on you?"

Beth's eyes went wide and a light blush started spreading over her face when Alejandro wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Wait," Heather paused, "Where were you sneaking in from?"

Beth's blush got even darker when Lindsay suddenly spoke drawing all their gazes.

"Cody? Why are you sleeping on the floor?"

"Did anyone get the number on that bus?" Cody mumbled out drowsiliy before falling unconscious.

**The End**

**A/N:**

**Haroldie, I watched Harold and Kumar again this weekend.**

**Anyway**

**Please review**


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